Moby Dick and now this?
A Rabbi Rewrites the Bible!
Recent Posts From Rabbi Laurence’s Blog
REAL TORAH
Temple Shabbat Shalom Announces Notes for an empirical check list of Torah and her teachings: A Get REAL project! (Not for the fearfull and fainthearted) Listen I do know that this is way too much. But I must teach! The 14 Books of the Mishnah Torah are based on an...
AIKIDO FEET
Aikido Feet (Ten Theories Of Everything) The sound of one hand clapping? Slap your own face. Turn the other cheek. Awaken the Ai. Learn this Torah Teaching: Kabballah Five into five. The...
Daily Devotion
A Guide to Daily Devotion 1.) This is an event poem, which means I am not teaching about devotion, I am offering an act, an event of devotion. Behind bars you have time to be devoted to daily prayer and meditation. The rabbinic habit of study now opens...
Summer Reading
Four quotes for discussing before beginning Rabbi A.L.P.E.R.N. Seders (Amos 5:21-24) I hate, despise, your feasts and festivals, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies. If you offer burnt offerings and meal offerings I will not accept them. I pay no...
Kabballahwalky
KABBALLAHWALKY The Final Age® twill be perceived By those Ascending Mountain A With whimsy is the Word rephrased The Fathers are outraged! Beware the Ologies my peers Religions bind and dogmas klatch Beware the Funde Mental Bird and shun The Frumious soul savers...
Quest ion ings
QUEST ION INGS: THE GRAIL AND THE TABLETS OF TIKKUN (A Real Final Solution) The Grail is found in the quest of Ascending the A Mountain. The Ark of the Covenant is found within. The Riddle of the Ages? “It has been taught: The First Five...
The Azza Zaaz’s Tour of the A Mountain: Finally a Final (Talking Points)
1:1 Moby Dick, and now this, a rabbi rewrites the Bible? Has anyone ever read Moby Dick cover to cover? My rewrite contains even more blubber, see Final Kabballah. 1:2 The Azza reminds: A to Z or Z to A The Final Age Testament is a FAT Bible. The final...
10 Words
Ten Words to Heal the World The most basic and concrete introduction to Kabballah and Universal spirituality are taught in this workshop. Call (518 )893-0808 QUEST ION INGS: THE GRAIL AND THE TABLETS OF TIKKUN A Real Final Solution The...
Attica Attica: 2020
Attica Attica 2020: A.K.A. Confessions of a Prison Rabbi "Attica is every prison and every prison is Attica." I begin with the provocative to inspire a response. This is no sermon. Let the discussion begin. A Ten Point...
Very Rabbi
The Se(A)lah Bible Se(A)lah, samech, lamed hay in Hebrew is said to be untranslatable. One finds the term in the Psalms, the Book of Habakkuk and the See-doer, the Hebrew prayer book. Se(A)lah means: stop and listen, pause and reflect. Se(A)lah is an instruction to...
Sealah Devotional Bible
Sealah Devotional Bible Concise Conversational Commentary. Weekly readings. Book by Book. Genesis to Revelation. Each and every year. Torah to be Discussed Orally Rabbi Ari.a Alpern (Feel free to leap to the Karen Armstrong Quote) A High-Toned Old...
The Birthday Haggaddah: A Personal Seder
The Birthday Haggaddah: A Personal Seder Shalom and blessings: We invite you to tell your personal story in the narrative of this unique Birthday Haggaddah. The order of the Telling will be up to you. Every personal has an obligation to write their own Odyssey. On...
A Rabbi’s Devotional Reading of The Quran.
A Devar Jonah Conversation Ari.A Alpern (This version is set up to start a conversation) A salam Ah laykum. Shalom A lay chem, Peace be Upon You. And upon you Peace. Welcome to our devotional conversation on the Quran. We will read and recite together, from “The...
Purim
Upside Down and Inside Out: Inscrolling The Megillah of Esther Congregation Devar Jonah A Seder: A Seder? For Purim? Anyway, like the drunk who is sober only on Purim we must first discuss the serious elements of the holiday, or should I say holyday. At first glance...
A Poet’s Passover 2016
Passover Seder (A Supplement) Rabbi Laurence A. Alpern Before beginning. This is a very short and open ended Passover supplement. It may be done in less than one half an hour. This Seder has ten reader leaders so you will have to divide up accordingly if you are less...
Seder Shabbat Shalom
Shalom. This Seder is the order for a home service to welcome the Sabbath. The phrase “Shabbat Shalom” expresses the essence and uniqueness of our tradition. Shalom means greetings and Peace. A wonderful Peace is experienced when we transform our dining...
Bar Mitzvah Boy Syndrome
Bar Mitzvah Boy Syndrome? Yes.Time To Grow Up Time magazine the late spring of 2011 asks: Sex, Lies, and Arrogance: What Makes Powerful Men Behave So Badly? Why is it that the higher one rises in a power hierarchy the more likely they are to commit indiscretions?...
Beyond Sunday School
Beyond Sunday School: A Call to the Children of Israel. If you, like many, stopped your spiritual education at age 13 or 12, you may see the world like an adolescent. Similar to The High Priest Aaron, of blessed memory, modern rabbis are not able to prevent the dance...
My Dream
My “I Have a Dream Speech” of Shabbat Shalom ( In memory of Rabbi Edwin H. Friedman ) Rabbi Friedman of blessed memory is my main rabbinic mentor. In his final book, A Failure of Nerve, the good rabbi challenges each of us to have our own “I have a dream speech.”...
Be a Baal Shem Tov
A: Mastering the Final Name. Be a Baal Shem Tov A Review Say A, The Final Name, or Ah, as in say Ah Aleph God In A Beginning add lamed say Ale, or A lah Plural of majesty Al o heam, not L o him in A Beginning creating continuously, in your goodness Ma ah say B...